Confused and fearful about the future

My new company's director is a good soul.He appreciates people and never misses a chance to make a good conversation.Although,he is a veteran technical guy ,he tries to take interest in the common interests and liking of fellow employees.I feel some pressure at times because of the company and profile change.I also have a lot of fear about the same.People improve their salaries and improve their profiles.I somehow got demoted even though my salary increased.It feels like a greedy decision.I could have stuck around the good profile and decent money but i went for the wealthier job.I am not liking it.I think i might begin to like the work but i have concerns and fear about my future.Is it good for me?What is the best decision for me?Did i take the wrong risk?All this hurts me.The change is much to handle.I am not a people's person.I have ego issues and don't even know how to talk nicely.I come across as rude and condescending.I am Sorry if i have hurt anyone intentionally or unintentionally.I am just a confused personality trying to find my way around the world.I have fears,hopes and dreams.I don't know the answers to most of the questions in my head.I just have to take one day at a time.I hope i will be fine.You will be fine.May peace be upon all of us.

This is how i feel

I am mainly a lazy person but i try to help.I think i rest more than fellow people.I want to focus on something and then make it better.It is hard.I am going to focus on one thing and make it work.I have recently switched office and haven't got the hang of the environment.I find myself confused and fearful of the people.People seem amicable but also intelligent.I find it intimidating.I have switched from coding profile to cloud MS engineer profile.I don't know if it was a wise decision but the mere thought panics me.I can't do much about it at this second.It would be foolish.I want to focus on work and grow.I find it tough to communicate with people.Maintaining eye contact is also tough.I am shy.I have been an introvert most of my life.I just wish i could talk to people and be honest with God.

Kriti Diary Page

Can anyone be ready for back to back failures?

Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.

I am learning.

I want to grow.

God helped my friend by telling him that he's growing.

I wish he grows.

I am not getting what i want in life.

I am dwindling.

I am weakening up.

I am searching for happiness.

At this point in my life,a change can provide that.

I wish life was not this hard.

Maybe,i could concentrate and work on what's required to be done.

I want to help out in work.

I want to be able to understand the criticality of the tasks we are doing.

Everyone thinks that i am worthless.

Everyone considers me a sensitive doll whose task is to look pretty.

Sad part is,I am not sure if they are right.

-Kriti

Maybe,I didn't care

I was expected to be prepared for this day.

I had to fulfill minimum criteria of what was expected from me.

I didn't want to.

I was laid back and inconsiderate about what i was doing.

How could I be so careless?

I didn't know.

It's not that i failed.

It was more like 'I didn't try'.

Why didn't i try?

I didn't care.

Why?

It was bad today.

I was at my worse this morning.

Why didn't I still don't feel bad?

Was I that hopeless?

I got a chance and i screwed it up.

I was silly.

I could have done better.

At-least,i could have done something.

I have let people down.

I wish i was not such an idiot.

I used the GPS on the phone to reach a particular location.

I was looking for something different in my life.

Maybe I should have gone to Hyderabad for a vacation last Friday.

I bought myself a strawberry milkshake.

I don't know what was wrong.

Actually,I did know that i was wrong inside.

I was silly and stupid.

Life is complex.

I don't know if anything good will ever happen to me.

Maybe,I should start learning.

Maybe,I should learn to grow.

Maybe,just maybe.

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I don't know

I don't know what I am doing.
I don't know where I am going.


I don't know what's right.
I don't know what's wrong.

I don't know anything anymore.

I am struggling with life at the moment.

I am making adjustments.

I am learning.

I am taking a step ahead in one direction.
I am taking 2 steps backwards.

I don't know where I am going.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't , know

Can you be a Goodistener?

Hi! I know only a very few people who are good listeners.By few,I really mean very few.Though everyone might not agree but it makes me draw the conclusion that it is a tough job to be a good listener. The protagonist in the book that I am reading is not well educated.Yet he considers himself a learned fellow.He says that he used to keep his ears open all the time and keenly overhear all human conversations that were audible. The concept of becoming brainy just by hearing other people may seem bizarre,but not bizarre enough that it can't be bought.

During the good old college days,I learnt that human mind learns 60%by teaching and 30-50% by listening.

I too don't listen to everything that's going on generally ,but today I want to try how listening feels like.Why don't you try along dear reader? Good day.